What To Do When You Feel Like Binge Eating

A how-to guide from a therapist

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

She’s just finished dinner when the cravings hit. It’s as if the snacks in the pantry are calling her name. Her mind fixates on the Oreos, the peanut butter and bread, the crunchy chips. The pull to lose herself in the ritual of eating feels overwhelming. She craves the escape—the brief rush of pleasure as she chases down cookies with a cold glass of milk.

But another part of her is exhausted by this cycle. She’s tired of feeling out of control. Each time ends the same—with guilt, shame, and the sense that she’s failed. And while she wants things to be different, she’s not sure how to manage these intense urges.

That’s why I created something called The PAUSE Skill for Binge Urges—a step-by-step way to slow down and shift the pattern.

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The PAUSE Skill for Binge Eating

1. Pause.
At the first sign of an urge, pause and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you’re not forbidden from bingeing—but you’re choosing to first try a new approach. Even just a few minutes of space can help.

2. Allow space.
If possible, remove yourself from the kitchen or the place that’s fueling the urge. Find somewhere else to sit and give yourself a moment. You’re not “failing” if the urge is there—you’re simply creating space between urge and action.

Ask yourself: Am I actually physically hungry? If so, give yourself permission to eat something slowly and intentionally. Think about what flavors, textures, or temperatures you’re craving. If you’re not physically hungry, continue on with the next step.

3. Use tools and self-statements.
Sometimes sitting with emotions in the middle of a strong urge isn’t realistic. In those moments, distraction and self-soothing strategies can be incredibly helpful. Choose a few (5–10 minutes each) that are accessible and grounding.

Supportive self-statements can also help shift the moment:

• “I can binge later if I still want to—but first I’ll sit with this for 10 minutes.”

• “It’s okay that this is hard. I’m practicing a new skill.”

• “Recovery happens one choice at a time.”

• “I always feel worse afterward—and I want something different.”

• “I don’t have to listen to my eating disorder voice.”

• “I’m learning. That’s what matters.”

4. Separate from the eating disorder voice.
Start to notice which thoughts are coming from your eating disorder—and practice responding from your wise, compassionate self. The eating disorder voice will always offer reasons to binge. But you don’t have to obey it.

Ask yourself: What would I say to a friend in this moment? Remind yourself that an urge is not a command. Urges fade with time—even if they feel unbearable in the moment.

5. Enlist help from supportive people.
Call or text someone you trust—even if just to talk about something random or unrelated. Connection can anchor you to your values and bring out the part of you that wants healing.

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Self-Compassion in the Aftermath

If you do end up bingeing, be gentle with yourself. This isn’t about willpower or failure—it’s about deeply ingrained patterns you’re working to change. Please don’t try to compensate afterward; doing so only fuels the restrict-binge cycle.

Binge eating is often rooted in emotional pain, trauma, unmet needs, and deprivation. It can feel like it’s helping in the short term—but in the long run, it keeps you stuck. Even sitting with the urge for a few minutes before acting is a powerful step forward.

And if you did ride out the urge completely? Acknowledge that. Celebrate it. That’s amazing progress.

You deserve more than a life controlled by binge urges. You deserve connection, freedom, and joy. Full recovery is possible. I

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Want support with binge eating recovery?

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