Stop Criticizing Your Body in Front of Your Kids—Here’s Why
Thoughts from a body image therapist & mom
“I hate that photo of me”
“My arms look really gross today”
“I wish I could wear that but I don’t have the body for it”
These might feel like small and harmless comments to make. However, they are not good for you to be internalizing when it comes to your own body image.
If you have children or are around young people, these also aren’t great comments for them to be hearing.
Here’s the thing, if you tell your kids “all bodies are worthy,” but then they hear you frequently criticizing and picking apart your own appearance-it gives an unhelpful message.
Kids learn not just from what we say, but also from what we model. I would argue that often the behaviors that we model are even more important than the words that we say.
A Personal Reflection
I want you to think about how you grew up and what people in your life both said and modeled about their body image or how they felt about their appearance.
Were you surrounded by people who spoke neutrally or positively about their bodies or was there a lot of criticism?
Did you see people modeling disordered eating behaviors?
Was there a big focus on weight in your household?
How did all of this impact you?
Send Yourself Compassion
The aim of this post is not for you to beat yourself up. Rather it is for you to learn and change any unhelpful patterns that you may be modeling for your kids.
Body hate is taught through our culture, systems of oppression, and it can also be passed down generationally.
If you are struggling with body hate it is not your fault. However, something you can work on is modeling the kind of relationship with your body that you’d like for your kids to have.
If this is a struggle for you, it’s so important to seek specialized help from a therapist.
Lastly, i’ll leave you with this:
I love my mom because she has small arms.
I love my mom because she is always perfectly dressed.
I love my mom because she has flawless skin.
I love my mom because she had no wrinkles.
Said no kid ever…
Your kids love you for who you are, not for the appearance of your body.
Work to break the cycle and be the positive body image role model that you wish you’d had growing up.
Reach out here for therapy.
Sign up for a course for those in eating disorder recovery or professionals.
Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C: Reach out for eating disorder therapy here. Jennifer is an eating disorder therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, Maryland. The Eating Disorder Center sees teens and adults for outpatient eating disorder therapy in Maryland, Virginia, DC, Pennsylvania, Florida, New York, and California. Jennifer is the co-author of The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery.
This blog is not intended as medical advice, therapy, or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. It is for informational and educational purposes only. Reading this blog does not constitute a client/therapist relationship.