Eating Disorder Recovery And Coping With Emotions
It's ok to let yourself feel
When people are no longer engaging in eating disorder behaviors, often they may feel like they are truly sitting with their emotions for the first time in a while.
Eating disorders are typically linked to a combination of genetic, temperamental, and environmental factors.
Yet, many people with eating disorders share one common struggle: difficulty identifying, processing, and coping with their emotions.
Emotional Avoidance and Eating Disorders
Emotional avoidance refers to behaviors designed to suppress or avoid emotional responses, such as fear, sadness, or anger.
For many people facing eating disorders, these behaviors are unconscious attempts to soothe emotional distress or cope with overwhelming life events.
For example, individuals with anorexia may respond to feelings of anxiety, sadness, or loneliness by restricting food intake. This often creates a deceptive sense of “control” or feeling "unique." In contrast, those struggling with bulimia may engage in bingeing and purging as a way to feel a fleeting sense of comfort, control, or relief. Those with binge eating disorder may use food as an emotional escape—a temporary source of calm or numbing.
Unfortunately, while these behaviors may offer brief relief, they often lead to long-term emotional distress, including heightened depression, isolation, and despair.
Allowing Yourself to Feel
Effective eating disorder treatment includes a wide range of tools and strategies to help clients reclaim their lives. A crucial aspect of this process is teaching clients how to identify, process, and manage their emotions in a way that aligns with their core values.
Many individuals find it incredibly difficult to simply sit with their emotions. Eating disorder behaviors often become a method of self-regulation or a distraction from emotional intensity.
I often use the analogy of a beach ball held underwater. Suppressing emotions is like trying to keep that beach ball submerged—it requires tremendous effort, and eventually, it will pop up with even more force.
In our culture, emotional expression is not always encouraged. However, emotions are essential signals that alert us to important needs and experiences in our lives.
One quote by Norah Wynne resonates deeply with me: "Feelings will not kill you. No one has ever died from experiencing an emotion, but people have died trying to suppress them."
I remind my clients that their eating disorder behaviors often began as coping mechanisms to survive difficult or traumatic times. While these behaviors may have once helped them, they are typically no longer serving their well-being.
With the right support and treatment, individuals can rebuild their relationships with food, their bodies, and themselves.
They can also learn to sit with and process their emotions without the exhausting cycle of suppression or avoidance. Living a full and meaningful life involves embracing all emotions—both the joyful and the painful.
Seeing the light return to people’s eyes as they rediscover their true passions and free up mental space previously consumed by thoughts of food and body image is so rewarding. Full recovery and a values-driven life are possible.
Journal Prompts:
What emotions (if any) are you avoiding or pushing down?
What behaviors are you using to avoid experiencing these emotions?
In what ways do these behaviors ‘help’ or hinder you? What is the function of these behaviors i.e. to feel a sense of comfort or calm? What is the cost of using these behaviors in the long term?
What is one value's-aligned way you could process your emotions? Examples include journaling, creating an art journal, talking to a friend, drawing, or discussing your feelings with a therapist.
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Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C: is an eating disorder therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, Maryland. The Eating Disorder Center sees teens and adults for outpatient eating disorder therapy in Maryland, Virginia, DC, Pennsylvania, Florida, New York, and California. Jennifer is the co-author of The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery. Reach out for help here.