Does The Eating Disorder Voice Ever Go Away?

Answering a substack reader's question

(photo is a stock image, question is an anonymous reader of this substack, shared with permission)

Hi Jennifer,

Does the voice in your head about your weight and what you’re eating ever really go away? Or do you just learn to live with it while making better choices? I’ve been dealing with different types of disordered eating since I was 16 (now 40) and I’m exhausted.

-A substack reader

Hi! Thanks for asking this question, I know a lot of people wonder about this. First off, i’m sorry that you are still struggling. I’m sending so much compassion your way. Recovery (and some people identifying as recovered) from an eating disorder looks different for everyone. However, some people do experience that the eating disorder voice goes away. This was my personal experience. Now what does that look like in my life? In my eating disorder, I had a loud eating disorder voice that was incredibly exhausting. There were certain points in my recovery where the voice was still there but I was working to not listen to it. However, now-I do not have an eating disorder voice in my head anymore. There is a lot more quiet in my mind when it comes to food, movement, and body image. And much more freed up brain space than I had before with that constant voice in my head.

Does this mean I never ever have a negative body image thought? No. However, it’s a very occasional, infrequent thought that passes quickly and has no impact on the rest of my day-much like I imagine someone who never had an eating disorder would experience. It’s very different in nature than the thoughts I had in my eating disorder, which urged me to use eating disorder behaviors, were persistent, frequent, and harshly critical.

In my eating disorder, I used to find certain comments very triggering and now I do not. For example, a family member recently made comments about my body recently being “bigger” than theirs and someone else in the family being “smaller than me” and it truly did not bother me. I think I thought “well it’s totally fine to be bigger than someone else.” Whereas in the past, I would have latched onto it in a negative way. Of course important to note that I have a variety of privileges and I do not experience weight stigma from society.

So, back to you-while of course I can’t give clinical advice on substack-what you’re telling me indicates you might benefit from some (or more) professional support from an eating disorder therapist. So, I hope that you think about reaching out to someone or increasing your support.

Reach out here for eating disorder therapy.

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Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C: Reach out for eating disorder therapy here. Jennifer is an eating disorder therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, Maryland. The Eating Disorder Center sees teens and adults for outpatient eating disorder therapy in Maryland, Virginia, DC, Pennsylvania, Florida, New York, and California. Jennifer is the co-author of The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery.

This blog is not intended as medical advice, therapy, or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. It is for informational and educational purposes only.